Snyder can’t use any of the top polling names because, as soon as the polling began happening, McCaulay started trademarking all of the most popular names, and then the middling ones, and finally all the shitty ones, so that Snyder literally had nothing left but his sycophantic troops-hump of a name. His requests range from the Washington Sharks and Pandas to the Warriors, Senators, Federals, Founders, Natives, Gladiators and even the Washington Football Club. A search for McCaulay's address on the United States Patent and Trademark Office website brings up 47 trademarks, including 14 abandoned requests, dating back to May 2, 2014. McCaulay said he's applied for so many trademarks in six years that he's lost count. So who does this pustule lose out to? A fucking trademark troll. Rather than anticipating and preparing for a possible name change, Snyder stuck to his guns, refusing to make any moves towards a change. The thing about all of the (much) better names people are floating about: in addition to being a moral cesspool of a human being, Dan Snyder is also just bad at business. Posted by Ghidorah at 3:20 PM on February 2 Past the Commies stuff, a lot of what I saw was people comparing this (unfavorably) to the fake teams in Any Given Sunday, where the NFL refused to let them use NFL team names and jerseys. Let the offensive linemen lend their strength to his defense, so that he might help us all!"Īnd the uniforms are shit. "Comrades, the wide receiver, with his speed and catching ability, he will benefit the team, let him fly!"Ĭomrades, the quarterback is weak and exposed, yet without him, our five yard plan will come to nothing. No more huddles, they shall be called the collective! No teammates, only comrades! All of the hyper-specialization makes this the perfect name. After all, it's about the troops (well, uh, the Navy, at least?), and to him connecting the team to the troops will make it impossible for anyone to say anything bad about the team, and have the added benefit of helping deflect ongoing stories of what a terrible fucking human being he is.īut, but wait, no, the best part, really, is that, going back to the obvious Commies nickname is that there is literally no sport more based on "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" than football. The Commies are the obvious choice, so obvious that anyone with any shred of marketing knowledge would be able to point to the inherent laziness of most English speakers and the fact that anything longer than two syllables will be immediately shortened to something easier to say (right, MeFi?).īut the best part, the thing that will continue to give as long as it exists, is that Dan Snyder is the one making the final decision, and there is no doubt in my mind that no matter how hard the marketing analysts he hired tried to dissuade him, Snyder had his corporate vacuum where a soul would be set on this. Posted by martin q blank at 11:29 AM on February 2 On the serious side, the WaPo has a good if flawed commentary, which hits it on the head: "The cloak of the military in this country often is employed as a coverup for sins." (I have a screenshot, but it's not live.) The best take, though, probably is from Joe Biden (and his Twitter team).Īt one point this morning, the WaPo opened up a form for readers' opinion on the name, and traffic probably broke the page for a while. (Though I'd bet it was owner Dan Snyder overruling his team out of military sycophancy. Lots noting the huge PR & marketing fail that couldn't foresee the nickname "Commies" given the name, red and yellow color scheme and DC presence. A search of "commanders" on Twitter shows that the team unwittingly unveiled the name ahead of time, with some unblurred promotional footage and by putting big displays right where an enterprising news helicopter could zoom in on them. It's been fun to watch this shitshow unfold over the last day or so.
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